Thursday, September 16, 2010

Here am I.

I'm back back from four month long blog hibernation. Sometimes I wish I blogged during the summer, but I realized this summer that I already missed out on much by being behind a computer (editing, exporting, importing, etc). So, obviously that didn't happen. Good, good.

I think I finally got my life changing summer. I wish I could describe how it changed me. I guess Chris Gibbs put it best in our conversation a few weeks ago. He said he never knew what transformed meant until he met people who were truly transformed by God, and only then could he be transformed himself. I won't go into how I agree or disagree with this, but in the case of this summer it was very true to me, personally. I can honestly say I had never met people who were so transformed and on fire as some of the people I met this summer (including Chris, and Ben - my boss, and his wife, Melissa). I had never felt such a hunger for a relationship with God like theirs, and I can say I'm finally getting there with my own relationship with Him.

I'm different now. It's not a camp high, it feels different. Much, much different. It's deep in my heart, and it stirs in my soul. It's beautiful, and difficult, and yet so good. That was my reoccurring theme this summer "It's hard, but so good," and I'm quite sure I drove some people crazy. But really, if you're not willing to accept the goodness in the difficulties in life, you're not trying to get out or let things get better.

There were many stretching situations this summer, and I grew an intolerance for "wallowing". Oh yeah, I've had my share of wallowing in my life, but I saw so many out of hand situations this summer. You can only stand hearing the same thing over and over and over (and OVER) again until you want to shake the person and tell them to snap out of it, or suck it up, or something. Thank God I never truly did this (although I was close).

I could go on for a long time about what God taught me, and how He changed me...but I will save them for later posts. I deleted all of my old entries because I'm different now, and I don't want to read them, or have them read. There's no real reason for this blog, just for me to share with whoever reads it. I trust that God has a lot planned for me this year, so if you're interested in keeping in the loop, this is probably a good place to look (or email me!).

Until then,

a.w.